I just found the funniest story in Google News with this quote:

"Any politician who supports war is insane according to the spiritual technology of Scientology."

It goes on to say:

"In the spiritual technology of Scientology, 'insanity is defined as the overt or covert but always constant intention to harm or destroy.'"

This quote is absolutely true.

The article, which is a parody, then takes it to some pretty ridiculous extremes, but as a completely minitant anti-war person, I wasn't unhappy to be classified as a member of a religion that is completely opposed to war!